Simply lay out the kit of spiritual tools for his inspection. Show him how they worked with you. Offer him friendship and fellowship. Tell him that if he wants to get well you will do anything to help.
If he is not interested in your solution, if he expects you to act only as a banker for his financial difficulties or a nurse for his sprees, you may have to drop him until he changes his mind. This he may do after he gets hurt some more. p. 95 Big Book
love this one!!!
ReplyDeletePeter R., Kelowna
At least we're the bright ones!
ReplyDeleteRoy B., Kelowna
Our only aim is to helpful. That's what we do, even if we're convinced someone's a terrible drunk. We offer them friendship and fellowship. We offer our way of life to the family if the drunk doesn't respond. Nothing in the AA literature says we track the drinkers into 4 separate categories and decide whether they're worthy of the Steps. That type of grandiosity has no place in AA. It's a Society of Equals. The highest we get is sober.
ReplyDeleteJ.L.
yeah it seems around here in Newport Beach is just that way , many just put the plug in the jug , and the car key's on the table and talk of there house payments , give the real alky a cigarette tell him everything will be okay
ReplyDeleteD.L.
I'd rather be the Terminator than the Enabler! ;-)
ReplyDeleteMarcia B., Santa Fe
"potential" alcoholics......... wasnt that a hope ( and still is )....... that we could help people BEFORE they hit bottom and drug their ass along it for 10-15 years, like SOME of us? Im wondering if all this focus on the "hopeless" type isnt somewhat out of balance? Or even a group self centeredness issue; WE are the only REAL alkies, ya'll are a bunch of posers.... as though they dont have a right to be here.
ReplyDeleteJeffery R.
most of my testimony is seen through my actions. I might be the only Big Book someone sees and that someone might be illiterate! I notice I attract more "potentials" in this manner. This is just me, though!
ReplyDeleteMarcia B., Santa Fe
It's up to me to carry the message. It keeps ME sober. I only can lay out the program and show someone where they MAY find the answer if they are interested in something different than what they've gotten to date. I simply do my part whatever that is specifically at any given time I don't know. I try to be helpful and a channel that is all. I do not have the power to get someone sober ,nor make them any more willing than they can be.
ReplyDeleteKeith G.
One day while driving to work, I began to question myself. Given that as a spouse of an Alcaholic, I was least qualified to give direction or even a program to my drinker, wasn't there something I could say or do to help him. In front of me was a big truck with a bumper sticker that read, "Don't try to teach a pig to sing, it's a waste of your time and it annoys the pig." God does speak in wonderful ways. The best help I gave to my drinker was to keep going to Al-Anon, take my own inventory, and allow alcoholics to help alcoholics.
ReplyDeleteGinger B.
I love that, Ginger...how many times have we all tried to "teach a pig to sing"?
ReplyDeleteRosemary A.B.
Love this :)
ReplyDeleteKim C.
In the Big Book in the chapter on sponsorship (Working with others) it talks about the family quite a bit...."Though an alcoholic does not respond, there is no reason why you should neglect his family. You should continue to be friendly to them. The family should be offered your way of life. Should they accept and practice spiritual principles, there is a much better change that the head of the family will recover. And even though he continues to drink, the family will find life more bearable. " p98
ReplyDeleteKevin D.
Amen. Praise the Lord. Blessed by ths word. Ty
ReplyDeleteJonnie L.